So yeah, this is follow-up of my last entry about healing. It took me a while to organize it. In the future, I will write more about healings and other lessons of God I am learning currently. I end up giving the testimony about this past sunday in front of 600 people Forerunner Church in Fremont, the chruch I have been visited the most ever since I move back to Bay area. I am still praying to see God wants me to settle down in that church... Giving testimony in front of such unfamilar group of people and in such large number are very challenge for me. For I know have done anything like this.. as well giving testimony in Chinese which I very seldom do (it took me 8hr to just to type up the script in Chinese)... But I know it's good... because it's what God wants me to do the moment I got healed.. but it's amazing I will be selected to give testimony among many other conference attendee...
================================== English Long Version:Testimony sharing on Sunday
FRCC 7-15
Theme: God’s healing and grace
Prelude:
I have long for God to do
something in my life… esp. at the end of my 2nd 7th year
in the Lord. Yet, I feel I lose all my strength and motivation to go forward in
my joblessness and spiritual dryness.
Having been out of job for
almost a year… I have not often lost the persistence in believing God. Though
God touches me from time to time in worship and sermon and devotion, but often
time I feel I am abandon and in the place of hopelessness dead-end
So I come to Conference with
very little expectation and preparation…. And yet God blessed me with
availability in my joblessness, so it’s first time I come to FRCC summer
conference full time and experience God in a brand new ways.
1st healing: God’s grace is rich and
abundant
At the 2nd night
(7/5) of the conference, while during free-worship, I was at the front. Even
though I heard many testimonies about physical healings and I myself have asked
for healings in any sorts of healing meetings, I never got any experience. Little
do I expect healing will come from worship time, esp. when no one is minister
to me.
As the worship leaders
mentioned of God’s grace is abundant and we share in His rich abundance. During that time, I say to God, I am truly
poor and needy (in the light of my joblessness and spiritual dryness). Also I
ask God particularly to give me something so I can give to other, testify to
other about Him and about I can be rich in Him. So that’s why I am sharing this
here today. They then said God’s healing anointing was there and just laid your
hands around your painful healing-needed areas… I did just that and I wished I
had more hands at that time. because I had a lot places in my body that need
healings… I have a 14 yrs+ headache since high school years. It’s 24/7 nonstop,
as long as I wake up I can feel the constant pressure and pain on my forehead
and temple areas.. Furthermore, I have bad joint problems. After I put my right
hand on my forehead for few seconds, I tried to sense my forehead to see if the
pain went away I realize my headache was not as painful as before… I wasn’t
sure, so I try to sense the pain carefully thru out the worship to make sure it
wasn’t just my imagination!!! Praise God
2nd
Healings: God’s bridegroom’s love
God’s healing didn’t just
stop there amazingly. Two days later, on the special day of 7-7-7, I also receive
another healing in the Conference’s afternoon’s healing session. I didn’t know
what exactly to expect when I go in. Mostly mixture of excitement and fear for
it’s a new ministry format and I never attend a healing session with hundreds
of people.….. Originally, I didn’t want to go. Because of my natural human tendency
disliking to crowded with people and spent a long time waiting in line for it,
especially I tried to wait in line for getting the entrance ticket for a friend
the day before and tickets ran out on me If it wasn’t for my friend, I wouldn’t
want to wait in line for it. But I’m glad I did go.
The 1st hour of
the healing session was going thru the basic knowledge and promises about
healing and proclaims promise of God to ourselves. Then we took the communion.
I really enjoy that. And I always love to review Jesus’ love and accomplish for
me by remembering Him in communion. Before any physical healings come, I was
proclaiming the verses shown in the screen… “By His stripe, I am healed.” So I
kept call out to God with His word... and then I became to cry and I started to
pray that “I am your bride, your beloved… Wouldn’t you want to see me suffer in
pain any more…? You will surely come for me and fight for my disease. And I am
just completely pour out in tears ( I didn’t know when exactly healing coworker
laid hand on me, but I know it’s from time to time…)And I felt heat and
numbness in the back of head… so I cry even more thinking that’s God’s hand
upon me…
Then, the leader on stage
said there are people who have headache or joint pain in this section (the
section I was in)... I know he was
talking about me. And so I cried even more... because I know God was showing me
that He always remember me and my sufferings.
Afterward, he continued
saying for those who has joint pain, started move your neck… (I have many joint
pains: fingers, waist, wrist, ankle and neck. I am easily got hurt in those
areas and all the recovery is extra slow and never fully complete. So I am anxiously tried to find out if
something new happened. I start to just move my neck in my simple faith, and
immediately I felt my neck can move much freer than before and I can move my
neck to place where I can’t turn after injury many years ago. (I am not saying
I can turn 360 degree) Though if I can
to do some medical treatment, I can temporary turn my neck to those areas, but
it’s not like this healing, that my neck remains free until now.
Brief remarks:
This is first time in my life
receive physical healing even I seek it for a while. God gives me healings
twice in this first round of healing (I believe these are just the first round
before many more healings to come and I will experience in the future...) I
feel very special and I wonder why. I think may be the timing is right. May be
I am desperate and having enough simple faith… Both healings took place in two
occasions. One without other ministered to me, one with someone ministered me
from time to time... One is regular worship time, and one in intensive healing
session. God give me both types these
times and show me He can do healings repetitively or successively, at wherever,
at whenever.
Also there are two important
messages that come with the healing experience. (I think it’s equally important
to receive God’s message and God’s gift of healing during any healing experience)
First one is about God’s grace is abundant. God wills and desires us to be rich
in Him and to be a giver of His grace/blessing to other. Second one is about
God’s grace and love is assuring. His bridegroom’s love for us is real and
fierce. He will come and fight for us simply because He is in love with us.
Lessons:
Both healings is a sign of
process. I know there are many different
forms, level of healings. Both of my healings this time are still partial in
physical condition. My pain in headache and neck are still around partially but
the pain has decreased significantly. Though the problems/pain is not totally
gone, but I know in faith I am already completely healed. I will be healed in
reality if I can keep on believing Him and walk in His way. Yet my faith already increase from this
experience but I know God still wants me to grow more thru the rest of the pain
left in me. And I see it as Joshua’s lesson: God wants to teach me how to fight
and deal with healings more in this process. He wouldn’t let me off the
lesson/hook easily... God wants me to continue to proclaim this healings
progress which He began in me in the conference.
Thanksgiving:
Now every moment, I know I
truly live in His grace even in the physical health. In the past, it’s only a
belief, a hope that I will receive any kind of healing. But it’s really awesome I can now say I really
experience it and it’s good and even now I live in His healing grace each
moment of my day. It’s even awesome to know that with rest of pain still left
in me... I can both praise God for the pain that He took away and the pain that
will be gone in the future. If God takes away all the pain 100%, I may be very
easily forgetful about His healing grace on me. I know this is only a beginning
of my healings I will receive and testify. Even now I can tell I have much more
compassion and faith about other’s healing needs and I realize there is so much
in people around us that needs healings both in soul and in body. O what a joy
to know God took away my pain and His living grace is so real and so loving to
me!!!
Covenant by Grace
Healing itself didn’t edify
us or bring us close to God. But meeting the God who heals during a healing
experience will make the difference. Even with all these healing experience I
had in the conference, I shamefully realized again I had a lot unwillingness
and struggle during the very last evening of the conference’s altar call’s
time. During the dedication/altar call time,
I didn’t want to go up at first. Nevertheless, I just followed the crowd to the
front because part of me knows it’s the right doing to do. I also did as the pastor instruct that
everyone took a sign of the covenant: a wrist band and wear it after you make a
covenant with God to follow Him. Throughout the worship song, I was struggle
and didn’t want to really put the band onto my wrist, but just holding it while
praying to the Lord... I felt I will mess up and break the covenant again and I
know I probably will….I also feel very guilty because even Gods gave me so much
healing grace, and show me how much He loves me.. I still can’t love Him back. During this year of jobless time, I thought I
was at the dead-end place of my life... But
this altar call showed I still have reservation and much unwillingness in my
life. Then a thought came to me as if
saying…even God knows I may fall and even such struggle and real and difficult
and indeed by your alone it’s impossible, but there is grace. God’s grace will
be sufficient me to make such covenant and keep such covenant. So then realize
it is really the grace of God in the end… God showed me even He shut off my
career, my dreams, and give me much healings; my human start can be still hard
and unable to commit to God. By myself there is nothing good in me that can
please or even make a smallest sacrifice and make covenant with God. It is
really the grace that gives me strength and courage to put on the wristband of God’s
covenant.
Chinese Short Version: The actual 3 minute testimony script.
親愛的弟兄姊妹, 我的名字叫做David, 我要上來做一個醫治的見證,
神的恩典和醫治的見證.
特會第二天晚上.
在敬拜的時候,
我到前面去,
然後領詩的人說:
神的恩典是很豐富的.
屬靈醫治的恩膏流在會場 你可以按在你想要被醫治的地方 然後我那個時候就跟神說對我來說是很大的激勵, 因為我沒有工作已經一年之久了.
在屬世屬靈上都很窮迫.
所以當我聽到這句話的時候 我心裡就跟神求 對 我在你裡面應該是富足 不應該是貧窮的 是的 我要成為一個富足 能給的人 我要一個醫治的經歷去見證給別人 我那時恨不得我有很多隻手來按 因為我需要醫治的地方很多 譬如全身的關節 和我的頭痛 立刻的 我右手按在我十四年不停只要一醒就痛的頭痛的地方 就明顯的沒有那麼痛了 我就讚美神
但不只是這樣 神還給我另一個醫治的經歷 在七月七號的醫治室裡 我本來覺得不需要再醫治 以為前兩天的頭痛的醫治已經夠了 但是我在幫別人排醫治室的隊伍之時 我覺得自己也可以拿一個票給自己….試一試 在醫治室裡 我剛開始照著銀幕上的經節向神乎求 我說因耶穌的鞭傷我已得醫治 然後我又向神禱告 說我是他所愛的新婦 他絕對不忍心 不允許 我受這樣的苦 他一定要來為我的疾病征戰 於是我就開始哭得很厲害 那時領會的弟兄對我坐的座位區說 這裡有頭痛跟關節痛的人 我知道主在說我 因我從小關節就很容易受傷 受傷後就很慢很難復原所以多年下來全身上下大多關節都不舒服不能轉到底 我就哭得更厲害 然後他又說 有關節痛的人現在可以開始轉動你的脖子 我就興奮地照招著做 發覺我脖子可以轉到以前轉不到的地方 我就讚美神 哭得更厲害了 雖然我知道神可以
且願意 醫治 我我多年來都向神求醫治可是我沒想到
被醫治的時候卻是這麼驚奇感動的 這是我這一 次是生平第一次得醫治 一口氣就得兩個 而且都在不一樣的情況當中 在不一樣的部位 而且不一樣的訊息 一次是神是對我說他的恩典是豐富的 是夠我用的 而且我可以在他的恩典中成為一個富足 能給 能見證的人 另一次神來再度跟我講我是他所愛的新婦 他會為我征戰 他會救我
雖然這二處 部份疼痛還沒有完全消除 但我深信神已經醫治我了﹐我要在信心裡面一直到神完全的醫治成就在我身上.
每當我常常去感覺我的頭和脖子﹐ 更確認神在特會的醫治是真的 我連剩下的痛都喜樂感謝 因它成為神愛我記號提醒我是如何每刻這麼真實地活在恩典中
到了最後一天晚上立約的時候 我對呼召沒有這麼大的反應 我是看著大家上去我就跟上去了 雖然我拿了手環 但我卻掙扎不想戴上去 因我知我雖承受這麼多的醫治的恩典在聚會中 神讓我知道他很愛我 但他那時顯明我還是不夠愛神 我又因為我怕我沒有辦法維持這個約 我覺得我也沒有立約的勇氣 因為我以前全部立的約 我都沒有持守 但那時神跟我講 你能立約 需要我的恩典 你能持守這個約 更需要我的恩典 不是看你能不能 而是在乎我的恩典足夠你用 得醫治本生不能使我立約 但能使我碰到那立約的神 並更認識神的恩典 這恩典給我新的力量立約
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